February Horoscopes

Check out your February Horoscopes!

Love is in the air, Blazers, and with it comes this month’s horoscopes. The stars have kindly bestowed upon me the knowledge of each sign’s ideal partner. This month could be the month you find that perfect someone.
Aquarius (Jan. 20th – Feb. 18th): For the Aquarius, it is important to find someone who respects your interests. If they aren’t helping to support your Squishmallow collection, then they simply aren’t worth your time.
Pisces (Feb. 19th – March 20th): You need someone who compliments you, Pisces. Fire and ice type beat. But also ice melts and water extinguishes fire. So maybe disregard that analogy.
Aries (March 21st – April 19th): Aries needs to find someone who matches their energy. If they don’t want to go out at 1 am and commit (minor) felonies, then you haven’t found the one for you.
Taurus (April 20th – May 20th): The Taurus has unique tastes that will lead them to the right person. Only you enjoy listening to “Timber” by Ke$ha featuring Pitbull (Mr. Worldwide) on repeat for three and a half hours, and you have to find someone who shares your interests.
Gemini (May 21st – June 20th): You need to find someone as adventurous as you, Gemini. You need to find someone who will travel the world with you, or travel to at least North Carolina. You define your adventure.
Cancer (June 21st – July 22nd): You need some stability in your life, Cancer. Your partner is, and I mean this in the most loving way possible, emotionally stable when you aren’t. You need someone to lean on. Or just a well-adjusted individual.
Leo (July 23rd – August 22nd): Your soulmate is a dog. Specifically, a Golden Retriever.
Virgo (Aug. 23rd – Sept. 22nd): For the Virgo, there is a strong force awaiting to be your true love. Their brooding frame is on the horizon. It could be a jock; it could be Bigfoot.
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22nd): For the Libra, a partner will have an upstanding portfolio and 401k is a must. Yes, we may all be high schoolers, but for Libra, it is never too early to plan for the future.
Scorpio (Oct. 23rd- Nov. 21st): I hate to tell you this bestie Scorpio, but your soulmate was JFK. And I feel like I don’t need to explain why that’s an issue. My condolences.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21st): You need someone who brings a lot to the table, Sagittarius, and it may feel impossible to find that perfect person who fits all of your extensive criteria. Well, no need to worry any longer. Your perfect person is none other than you!
Capricorn (Dec. 22nd – Jan. 19th): Your soulmate is a cat. Specifically a tabby.