5 Christmas Hallmark Movies
December 2, 2021
A true marker of the holiday season beginning is when the cheesy Christmas movies start airing on the Hallmark channel. These movies are stereotypical, often predictable, festive rom-coms, and they are beloved by many.
Because there are hundreds upon hundreds of these movies, it would be quite a task to watch all of them and provide a definitive ranking. Instead, I’ve chosen 5 Hallmark movies at random and ranked them from worst to best.
First up, we’ve got “Christmas Wonderland.” Starring Emily Osment, this movie follows the classic Hallmark movie plot of a big city girl going back to her hometown for the holidays and finding love. Specifically, we follow a gallery curator, Heidi, unexpectedly heading back to the small town she grew up in for Christmas. While there, she reconnects with Chris, a local teacher and her high school sweetheart, as they’re thrown together to plan a high school dance.
“Christmas Wonderland” is the classic stereotypical Christmas movie, and while it’s not bad, it also doesn’t really stand out, so I’ve ranked it 5th.
Second on the list is “Christmas in Homestead.” This one follows a famous actress, Jessica, who travels to a small town to film a holiday movie. While there, she ends up falling for the owner of a lodge and forming a bond with his daughter. This stands out a little more than “Christmas Wonderland” but still isn’t anything too special, so it has earned the 4th place spot.
Next, we have “A Bramble House Christmas.” In this movie, we follow a woman named Willa and her son Scout as they take a trip to Bramble, Oregon to stay in a bed and breakfast over the winter holidays. The trip was paid for by a patient of Willa’s who recently passed, Mr. Conrad. While on the trip, Willa and Scout meet Finn, the son of Mr. Conrad, and some family drama ensues.
On the scale of predictability and cheesiness, “A Bramble House Christmas” earns a 10 out of 10, but out of all the movies on this list, I’ve ranked it 3rd.
Next up is “Cranberry Christmas.” This movie follows the owners of a cranberry farm and business as they are forced to keep up the appearance of a perfect life in order to maintain their cranberry business.
I give “Cranberry Christmas” points for creativity since I’ve never heard of a cranberry-themed Hallmark movie. The plot is a little weird at first and I got dizzy from trying to count how many times an actor said the word “cranberry”, but the movie was still really enjoyable. It’s still perfectly cheesy and predictable, as all good Hallmark movies should be, but the uniqueness of it has earned this movie the 2nd place spot.
Lastly, we have “A Timeless Christmas.” This time-travel-themed movie follows Charles Whitley, a businessman from 1903, traveling to the year 2020 just in time for Christmas. The plot is insane and almost offensively period inaccurate, but it’s so entertaining. I love a good Hallmark movie that doesn’t follow the “big city girl goes back to her hometown and falls in love” trope, and “A Timeless Christmas” is definitely unique. It can almost objectively be called a bad movie, which is what makes it such a good Hallmark movie. “A Timeless Christmas” has earned the coveted 1st place spot.
